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Intelligence émotionnelle : réussite du leadership et rétention du personnel




think we will get started then so I want to say hello and welcome to everyone welcome everyone to hrc’s webinar on

emotional intelligence leadership success and employee retention today’s

session will allow you to learn what and why emotional intelligence is important in leadership and professional success

for anyone that doesn’t know who I am I’m Marie mold and I’m the senior manager of stakeholder engagement here

at ehrc so just before we begin I’d like to acknowledge that the national office

of electricity Human Resources Canada is located within the traditional unseated

unsurrendered territory of the Algonquin anishinabe people ehrc honors the

peoples and the land at the Algonquin initiative nation and offers Nations Inuit and metis peoples and their

valuable past present and future contributions to this land so just

before we get started a couple of housekeeping notes this webinar is being recorded today and will Avail be

available on the website as well as our YouTube channel

you can use the chat feature today to ask questions of our guest speaker and we highly encourage it

so now it gives me great pleasure to introduce Angela Payne who’s the co-founder of lead HR and the national

president of lean in Canada having spent her whole career in the human capital industry Angela’s interests and passion

starts with people everyone who knows her recognizes her ability to make authentic and long-lasting connections

this superpower has enabled Angela to not only Build and Grow successful teams

but also become a strategic coach for many other leaders inside and outside of her organization

Angela is a certified emotional intelligence practitioner and a certified coach she leverages these

every day within our current role as co-founder of lead HR and Leadership leadership development firm focused on

helping organizations measure train and improve the level of EQ in their leaders

at all levels so I am going to now send it over to Angela welcome Angela and over to you

thanks for attending and participating with us uh and I just want to do a quick

check now that we just screened share changed that you can see my screen there uh so um Ray that’s good yes all good

awesome so welcome to the session today uh we’re online for uh approximately 45

minutes and I’m happy to engage with the group here

um one of the the sessions that we’re working on today is uh emotional intelligence and Leadership success

um as Marie said I’m Angela Payne in the day-to-day work that we do at lead HR we

help organizations measure through assessments um understand and improve the level of

emotional intelligence in their leaders at all levels our talk today my talk today is entitled emotional intelligence

and Leadership success looking at how leaders um can use emotional intelligence not

only only just in their own success but also to attract and retain Talent as

it’s a key component of that and what we want to do is share information on helping you understand how emotional

intelligence really empowers influential and inspirational behaviors in

leadership so we’re going to look specifically at what emotional intelligence is why it’s important what

are some of the key leadership competencies attached to our emotions and lastly we want to give you some

practical tips to help you take away and walk away on how to increase and you

know manage and increase your own emotional intelligence those of you are teams or your leaders and be able to

share two ways to be able to do that so that’s our agenda for our time and I’m happy to

um you know take questions so if there’s something that you really want to ask please don’t hesitate to drop it in the

chat there’s a couple areas that I’m hoping you’ll engage with me coming up early in in the time and please add that

to the chat as as we go so all right so a quick comment about Charles and I

Charles is my partner we uh are long time colleagues uh as the founders of of

lead HR one of the things that we’ve spent our almost our whole career in is in the human capital space and really we

came to emotional intelligence um you know inspired by our own personal journey of emotional intelligence

and so uh we are Master Certified trainers as as Marie indicated and we

spent a lot of time in multiple different uh forums that look at emotional intelligence and support

um not only uh leaders but women also and and through my work at lean in so

what we want to do is to help us understand uh emotional intelligence I wanted to take all of you into a time

machine and bring you back to the year 1998. and as we know there’s lots of great

things that happened in 1998 1998 was the year of the Nagano Winter Olympics

it was also the year that uh the movie Titanic essentially like ruled the world

but 1990 9 also a really important year for me as in 1998 it’s the year that I got married

and this is me in 1998. and at the time there were lots of things that I knew

about myself one I knew that I was done living under my parents roof uh I was free to be me

um I knew that I had skills uh I had worked hard to complete my degree I had

had multiple jobs through University and I had done some part-time work and you

know worked during the summer to gain experience and I knew that I was more

determined than most people and I wanted to be really successful in my career

and there were lots of things that I didn’t know I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to

do uh what industry I wanted to work in clearly from this picture you can see I

had no fashion sense because who wears a daisy wedding dress and red lipstick but

hey it was the 90s don’t hold it against me um and most importantly I knew to

achieve the work success that I was looking for I didn’t really know what skills or competencies I would need yet

in order to be able to achieve this luckily for me in 1998 someone wrote a

book on that very specific topic uh you may know a gentleman called Daniel Goldman he wrote his second book on

emotional intelligence and the book was entitled working with emotional intelligence it specifically looked at

the skills and the behaviors that could make people and leaders successful in

their careers So Daniel Goldman spent time you know presenting research and evidence that would start changing the

way we view uh what’s needed to achieve leadership success

so what are the behaviors of successful leaders and for us a good way to think about this is to think about our own

experience of being led by great leaders so I’m hoping you’ll uh indulge me and

work with this uh work with me on this essentially what I want you to do for a minute is to think about uh your best

leader it doesn’t have to be your current leader could be leader from your past it could be a coach doesn’t have to

be uh you know in your workplace but think about your best leader and write

down for me uh the positive characteristics that you appreciated about this leader

so I’m going to give you a couple seconds to write down some of those characteristics things that you appreciated about this ideal leader that

you had in your mind what characteristics did they hold for you

all right hopefully you’ve got a few of those and what I’m hoping you could do is drop

one or two of those characteristics in the chat for me um you know write them down just type

them in for me a couple of those things a long stream of them I’m watching the chat I’ll see them uh they were

inclusive they were a Storyteller uh you know they were kind uh empathetic

um absolutely great anything else

ah they were trustful so they had your trust they cared about uh what you did

uh absolutely good listener great all very uh great characteristics

thank you uh for sharing um uh thank you driana uh Georgiana said

motivating and so it’s interesting to me uh those characteristics uh because this

is what we often see from uh the work that we do with with leaders

um essentially you know we hear they were supportive they listened they communicated well they were you know

trustworthy they understood me and and this list is a a very good

representation of what you said and what we generally see like 99 of the time and

what’s interesting to see here is that most of the answers talk about the reference of abilities to uh for the

leader to to have these types of skills which leads them to be influential influential in their teams what we

almost never hear anybody talk about is you know their expertise their technical

skills of the job um nobody ever says oh geez well they were the best Excel uh spreadsheet maker

ever um and now you know I want to clarify and say don’t get me wrong we’re not

suggesting that technical skills and expertise and knowledge are not important they are but they are the

entry ticket to leadership as a job itself what happens thereafter

what makes you influential is how you interact is how those leaders interact

with other people so you may say to me well Angela what does this have to do with emotional intelligence and we say quite a lot

actually and so if you’re new to the concept of EQ it’s worth just defining this just to make sure that we’re all on

the same page so emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize and

understand emotions both in yourself and in other people and it’s this ability to

use this awareness to manage your behavior and your relationships

the beauty of being a human being is that we go through tons dozens of

emotions every day and our emotions influence how we interact with ourselves and with other

people constantly in every aspect of our life and if we don’t learn how to

understand those emotions and manage them they can control us and derail our

Behavior with other people so what we want to think about is this

visual representation of emotional intelligence because emotional intelligence at work looks like this

and this is what it tells us it’s that how you feel

at the top of the uh at the top of the um illustration will impact how you

behave your behaviors will impact your results

your results impact how you think about yourself and other people which in turn

impacts how you feel so a good way to think about this is to think about when you’re feeling stressed

out you know how does feeling stressed affect your behavior

well for some people they disappear when they’re feeling stressed right other

people lash out and they become even an over aggressive version of themselves but either way in both into these

instances it impacts your ability to reach the results that you want which is true in leadership because how

you feel will impact the behaviors necessary for you to be able to attract

retain great people on your teams so I want to show you uh the model of of

emotional intelligence and this is the model we use at lead HR it’s from multi-health systems which is a Canadian

company um and it’s predicated on the barn Reuben uh model of EQ which was adapted

by Daniel Goldman it is these 15 competencies arranged in five Composites

that at the top you’ll see start with self-perception they essentially go through

self-perception and the three competencies under there like self-awareness and your self-confidence

it moves to self-expression and this is about your ability to express yourself

to be assertive and independent it then moves to thinking about how you

interact with people right so your ability to be empathetic your relationships even your social

responsibility it then says well hopefully if you have good relationships if you have a good

self-regard you have an ability to express yourself you have good relationships hopefully that’ll drive

you to make good decisions and so inside the decision-making composite these are things like your problem solving ability

impulse control uh reality testing and then ultimately if you’re good at making

decisions hopefully that helps you manage your stress so helps you be optimistic helps you manage your stress

tolerance and be flexible and so a leader with a healthy level of emotional intelligence will also help

sustain their employees especially if you focus on a leader around a leader

around particular skills like relationships empathy and even optimism

because those are ones that I mean ultimately they’re all interconnected the 15 of them all are interconnected

but if you think about those particular three um you know you start with your ability

to be self-aware and who who you are and how you actually feel you know

leaders who have great relationships who are able to be empathetic and who can set a pace a vision and be optimistic

and lead the team and drive the team towards our leaders that people want to work and stay with

um and so this is all encompassed or housed around the gray area which you

know predicates years of research that shows that this also impacts people’s

overwhile overall well-being um which is uh you know topic we spend a lot of time talking to our clients about

and ultimately their emotional and social uh functioning and work performance

so there really isn’t a starting point on the wheel um you can start anywhere with your leaders

um or with yourself if you’re working on emotional intelligence however know that they’re all

interconnected so that’s one of the reasons why we love it because one area of working on your emotional

intelligence will literally float uh many boats um if you can imagine thinking about working on your uh uh you

know assertiveness and speaking up when you need to and speaking your truth this will potentially raise your

self-confidence which hopefully then will increase your ability to make good decisions which then hopefully could

impact your stress tolerance so you see how they’re um you know they’re very interconnected

so um what we see is Decades of research to support the emotional intelligence and

Leadership and I’m sure you’ve seen lots of this and what uh you know Daniel Goldman the reach the researcher who

popularized emotional intelligence tells us in his book is that you know he came

to understand that IQ and technical skills are as I said this ticket to leadership but that if we only use these

skills who are very likely to be bad bosses in fact our EQ including the

skills of how we manage our emotions and relationships are two times more important than our technical abilities

and so the higher up we go in the in our work life and you know the corporate

ladder the more important EQ becomes because our role is more and more about managing relationships and not

necessarily doing technical work and a leader with a healthy level of emotional intelligence

um you know really helps the organization or reach their goals because as you uh we we talked about in

that little exercise we did these are the people these types of skills characteristics are the things that

people remember about somebody and want to work for in in that regard so when

you can develop those skills and start to hone those skills for yourself and for leaders you you automatically lift

your odds of uh you know people putting uh exponential effort or discretionary

effort uh to the work that you do in your organization a study like this one

uh is a metadata analysis it looks at four 40 different kinds of studies it had over 65 000 participants uh that

found that EQ was more than twice as important for leadership success and that this all of this helps us

understand that the EQ is not a passing bad and that in the corporate World it really drives results and we talk to

CEOs about this all the time and it’s critical in driving retention uh for uh

for organizations what I also want to show you is the key

behaviors that these 15 competencies use so my thought is and certainly you’re more than welcome I can send this to you

afterwards or you know you’re welcome to take a screenshot of it but this is an in-depth view of the 15 competencies and

what they measure in the assessment so when you think about using this while helping a leader develop you can this

can provide you a ton of insights on directing a leadership skills Improvement conversation so that if you

know what the competency or what the the composite measures then you can measure

your leaders against these kinds of things so as an example self-awareness do you understand your emotions and how

they impact other people this is often the foundation of leadership styles

um you know if you think about the small subset of skills needed for uh successful leaders you know their

ability to be empathy improves the impact of their messaging right they use their message or they deliver a message

in a more meaningful way for the listener their ability to handle pressure improves business outcomes

because they can step back they can take a moment they can engage and collaborate

with people in their teams which then Fosters trust and safety and belonging which then helps them to you know be uh

good uh you know good business or drive good business outcomes they’re tact uh improves trust their

adaptability so their flexibility can improve uh you know absolutely the input

they get from their teams and their collaboration their ability to influence other people can really drive capacity and

capabilities within the business for their teams to even step up and their ability to keep their egos in check can

demonstrate what good behavior in the organization looks like so uh you know these are great uh ways

to think about the competencies in a way that is uh useful for you to think about

how your leaders are performing in in the 15 competencies besides just the assessment uh besides just the

assessment itself so what we wanted to also do for you was

um you know there’s tons of theory around emotional intelligence you can see you know lots of Articles and uh you

know things around emotional intelligence but one of the things we committed to uh in even building this

with Marie and her team was you know how can we give you practical tools or practical application that you can use

in your day-to-day whether you’re thinking about you know attracting whether you’re thinking about how to

retain uh Talent how you want your leaders to behave in order to be able to engage and be influential in their teams

so we wanted to do this in two ways for you one was to provide you with

interview questions um that will help you gauge uh emotional intelligence it’s one component of your

you know your full process and your full onboarding process but it’s a good way to ask

um that will help you think about if the candidate or the person that you’re even

doing for succession planning or promotion inside your organization has some of these skills and a way to be

able to measure them so um this is like you know when have you

felt demotivated and what did you do to overcome this this is tied directly to self-actualization

um and directly to people’s optimism you know how do they Define that for you how do they think about that and articulate

that to you you know what is something that you’ve achieved that you’re most proud of this is tied again directly to

people’s self-regard their ability to be confident in where they are um to be able to explain that uh to to

you um you know how do you celebrate success lots of people are very successful but

they don’t take the time to celebrate success why is that is that tied to the way they feel about themselves and are

they aware enough to be able to celebrate success can they do that for themselves and for their teams

um you know have you uh how do you recover from failure one of the questions further down the list

um this is a directly impacts the way people think about their flexibility

their optimism um their impulse control because they

um you know how they answer these types of questions give you insight into those competencies those skills that skill set

um you know what kind of behavior at work makes you annoyed uh it’s an interesting it’s an interesting question

uh to also deal about think about people’s Independence and their assertiveness how can they actually uh

Express that how do they actually know what makes them annoyed are they self-aware enough to be able to

articulate that and know what that feeling is so that they can actually manage that and then work through that

when they’re working with teams um you know how do you distress after a bad day of work

um this is an interesting one around people’s uh you know around people’s

um you know um self-awareness uh around their ability to problem solve manage their

stress because if they can’t do these things they don’t have mechanisms to do

that again gives you some insight into uh you know how they think about themselves how they think about their

work and how they think ultimately about how they’re going to show up inside their teams

um the other one that uh I wanted to show you and I’m happy to answer uh questions on this uh after as well the

other one I wanted to show you is around uh four practical tips that if you’re

going to use to increase your own emotional intelligence or you want to use them to increase your team’s emotional intelligence or your leaders

emotional intelligence um you know I wanted to shed some light with some reflection questions for you

and some things that you could think about um and that you could Implement right away and I’m happy to give these to you

after um Mariam uh we talked a little bit about a a little

um take away um and if you see my screen that’s that’s this uh concept of these four

places and I’ll I’ll um of these four tips and I’m happy to share those uh with the group after so I can I can give

those um away at the end so um take time to check in with yourself this is the competency of self-awareness

the key Insight here is that taking time to understand how you feel gives you

more control over changing your emotions and your behaviors to something that’s

more productive for you so you know we say at least HR all the time you can’t manage what you don’t recognize and

that’s absolutely true about self-awareness if you don’t recognize how um you feel or how you work through

those what’s the tingly Sensation that happens to you what’s the way that manifests for you you have no shot of

being able to change it in the moment so so reflection questions that you can

use on self-awareness is think of a time where you were making a decision when

your emotions got the best of you what were you experiencing at that time

and what was your reaction to that we all have triggers being able to

understand what those triggers are help you to show up as the best version of yourself

what emotions make you a more effective leader do you know what those are can you deploy those more often

and what emotions do you think help you influence and Inspire your team

so when you think about those those are great reflection questions even if you want to use them for yourself or you

want to use them for your leaders to really be able to think about how are

they impacting their teams so a practical tip for you is uh you know set your smartphone alarm and let

make it ring twice a day when it rings basically take one minute to identify how you feel right in that moment I

don’t know if this ever happens to you but uh I can sometimes find myself with like not even knowing I I will check

myself put my feet on the floor and realize that my shoulders are like up here and that’s because I’m feeling all

of this in myself and I just literally need to like drop that back down again but I don’t know that unless I check in

with myself and I recognize when I’m feeling that way and just a very small movement or standing up helps me get

repositioned for you know my next conversation my next call my next um you know difficult conversation or

feedback session with somebody in my team the second one uh is around uh show care

for others and this is the competency of empathy um the key Insight here is that empathy

is the ability to recognize understand and appreciate the way other people feel it is a critical component in building

strong relationships and as a leader your ability to manage those relationships uh is really your medium

your delivery mechanism for taking your teams to even bigger you know Heights

bigger uh outcomes than you could have even imagined um and so the reflection question for

empathy is for you to think of a situation where you weren’t maybe as sensitive to someone’s feelings as you

should have been lots of times we recognize that after the fact after we walk away from a conversation

so why do you think that was the case and what could you have done differently if you don’t

answer or push yourself to think about what you could do differently than you

know how do you get to a different uh a different outcome or a different you know uh practice

so the Practical tip is that empathy really starts by noticing how other people may feel so next time you meet

somebody take a mindful moment to notice their facial expressions

um you know what emotion do you think they might be expressing can you actually

name it can you articulate that do you think you actually could recognize what that is in the day-to-day very busy work

that we have it’s sometimes much easier said than done we are worried about our

agenda our thing what we want to get done what message we want to deliver but the person that’s standing in front of

you how do you keep them whole so that’s uh that’s that’s uh that’s the

second one the third one um is about reducing your stress and there’s tons of content around this but

I want to just talk to you specifically about the EQ competency of this and

what’s the reflection of that but that is about stress tolerance for sure but Stress Management is like a

superpower and emotional intelligence it really is because being able to lower your stress increases your capabilities

in all other aspects of emotional intelligence so the reflection question for you is

what skills or techniques or activities do you use to manage your day-to-day

stress do you have some do you know what they are do you do them intentionally and purposefully and most people tell us

yes but link that to how it’s um how you show up because how do you

think your team has been affected by your ability to either handle or not handle stress

and so when we ask leaders that question it’s like hmm I maybe think I do a good

job of masking that maybe maybe not

um and what is the and what is the trigger that that creates in your team to not come to you to come to you more

often um to not escalate to escalate to not tell you when something’s not going

right in the business because they’re worried about your reaction to that what does that look like so the Practical tip

of that is you know as I said there’s tons of work on that yoga meditation breathing exercises the four box uh you

know physical activity pick one strategy and test that out even for a couple of weeks and see if that has an impact for

the way you show up or the way you feel and then the fourth one is practicing

the glass glass half bowl and this is the EQ competency of optimism

um and this is the ability to remain positive despite setbacks it’s really a

crucial differentiator between successful leaders and other people in the workplace um this skill this competency optimism

combined with the one of the other competencies in emotional intelligence which is reality testing is this ability

to um you know have a positive outlook and

I’m not talking Pollyanna like you know sunshine and rainbows all the time that’s not what I mean I mean the fact

that you know would you describe yourself as somebody who can work

through understand that there are setbacks there are things that will happen in your business in your life in

your work in your role as a leader but that knowing that if you look at it get

feedback use your relationships collaborate whatever that is that you can

um essentially uh you know essentially get yourself to a a good outcome a good

outlook and so the reflection questions we use is would you describe yourself self as having a positive or negative

expectations about how things will turn out I often coach people who say no no I

start with the worst case scenario every time and it’s like okay

um and that may work for you um how does that impact the people around you would they consider you to be

an optimistic person or are you as the leader the person that always says no no no that won’t work or but but that’s a

problem but this is that oh we tried that last time and leaders often don’t recognize when they’re doing those

things and those literally disengage employees and so

your language matters in that particular uh you know uh scenario and so how do

you keep your teams motivated in the face of obstacles what are the things that you use that

you think about and do you know what they are and can you deploy them when you need them so a practical tip for you is you know

before starting a project write down everything that comes to mind uh you know relating to how your project will

be successful um and then write down everything you need to do in order for that project to

go well it’s almost like a manifestation of that working out for you what are all

those things that you need um in order to make that successful and then you know hang on to that because

that will get you in the mind frame of working towards what that would look like um it’s true about problem solving and

it’s also true about optimism okay so that is a

few main areas that we really wanted to give you access to and to talk to you a

little about about it is a condensed speed round version of

emotional intelligence uh Marie it is uh exactly 1205. uh I will stop sharing uh

my screen so that uh we could talk a little bit about um you know if people have any questions

or if there’s anything they’re specifically interested in or interested in talking about I’m happy to do that

for the next few minutes before we turn it back over to you

all right sorry sorry sorry Angela I was

I was uh trying to uh figure out my audio here and for some

reason no worries my screen escaped me so um as I mentioned before perhaps we could encourage people to put some

questions and we do have a couple of questions actually yes so I’ll just start off with

um the first question actually is do you have any uh examples of leaders who practice EI and

do it well yeah I

I eaters uh we leaders doing this often right we catch leaders doing

good work often um if you could um there’s a great

um I’m sorry I’m just looking at my book here um I’m just uh going to my bookcase there’s a great uh

work from the CEO of Kronos um and the book is called work inspired

um Aaron Ain is the um is is the CEO was the CEO of of the

organization Chronos if you know them k-r-o-n-o-n-o-s um they are uh his book is about how to

build an organization where people love to work um and he has some really great

um you know examples of what he might not deem as emotional intelligence but

are certainly characteristics of emotional intelligence um and those include things like his

real his ability to hold good relationships his ability to be empathetic

um which and and his ability if you read the book to to Really Show how he

created a vision for the organization and Let It Forward which is really tied to his self-actualization and his

optimism so that’s a that’s a really great one great I’ll uh I’ve written that down so

I’m I’m anxious to see if I can find that yes the next question is do you have any resources for developing EQ for

sure um and there are lots of um you know different uh models for

emotional intelligence the one we showed you is one model that’s uh multi-health systems that’s the model we use at uh

lead HR um but there are you know if you know EQ smart or you know uh uh Daniel Goldman’s

work they have different kind of versions of of EQ um but there are like some really great

books um that are written by Dr Stein um Dr Steven Stein

um which uh one of them is called the EQ Edge uh it’s emotional intelligence and your

uh success so it’s a couple of versions um David Stein actually has two or three

books any of his work is great um there are also if you have

um if you have a um [Music] subscription sorry to Harvard Business

review or hbr um or have access to some of hbr stuff they have some really great work on

emotional intelligence uh as well um as I promised I will send you this uh

piece which has the reflection questions and the um insights for each of the four that I

showed you um so you’re welcome to have that

um and then if you follow some some uh leaders who do work on emotional intelligence they often share

um you know tips workshops things that would be great for you to be able to use lead HR does that so if you’re on

LinkedIn feel free to um you know feel free to follow us we do things like the interview questions we

do things like how to increase uh you know how to increase team building and communication by using gratitude

exercises so there’s lots of different places that you could find some of that hopefully that’s helpful

thank you oh it definitely is um and I just wanted to make a comment before we get to our next question because I

remember uh as you said I we had a leader um and and because he I believe

practiced EQ um very well he had such an impact uh

it’s somebody that I I remembered for years um and it’ll be somebody that I’ll

always remember for the rest of my life actually yeah so we have one other

question is there any EI test or assessment that can be done to reflect the areas of improvement yes absolutely

so um there are a couple um there are a couple free resources

online if you sort of uh do like EQ assessment they’re very small kind of you know just high level conversations

about uh emotional intelligence um that’s one way if you’re you know you’re you know really strapped and

you’re just looking for a free resource um the MHS model that I showed you

multi-health systems model is actually uh is actually an assessment it’s 133

questions online which then gives you a score and rating and a practical

development plan for your leader in that assessment so it’s a 27-page report that

comes out uh in that and so we that’s that’s the work we do so when we do emotional intelligence work we assess

the leader and then we work on those competencies um there is again as I talked to you

about EQ smart and Daniel Goldman’s work they also have assessments so there are

quite a few assessments ranging from free to uh you know uh a few hundred

bucks um and so there’s a couple that uh that you could utilize and uh if you’re

interested in the ones that the one that we have we have with MHS happy to chat with you about it some more and you can

actually even go to and see uh how we use the assessment

okay uh there is one other one here uh it says would be interested in how you

gently influence EQ awareness live while in group meetings that’s a great one it

is absolutely a great one uh uh because I often say like you can only implant

impact or influence your own behavior but there are setups or things that you could do to try and like uh yeah

influence or you know backdoor that or engineer to some extent so one of those

is um you know one of the ones that that we encourage teams to do which is if they

don’t start with uh you know once a quarter maybe a gratitude exercise like you know I appreciate X about Mary Jane

or you know Susie Smith um and those are great ways to create

um you know to impact your relationships and increase your relationships um you know there are absolutely

um empathy is one of the topics that often we have leaders there’s either struggle with being able to

articulate or exercise and what we try to get people to do is think about

empathy as Clarity so Clarity around expectations Clarity around making sure

that you’re communicating with um you know the individual in an appropriate way that is empathetic

Behavior as a leader because you are helping them to see how they can be the best version of themselves by giving

them Clarity around your expectation as their boss so that is a very good way

the other way is you could start by modeling the behavior of using your

emotional expression like uh instead of just feeling stressed or I’m like oh my

gosh I got this going explain why this makes you feel that way so I you know I

feel X and Y or I’m I’m feeling like this because of this

um and and that helps people to see that what’s the what’s the why behind what

you’re saying or what you’re doing which gives people an understanding that you’re transparent you’re being

authentic about where you are and what you feel and that is a great way to model

um authenticity uh building trust safety in your workplace belonging all those kinds of things hopefully that

answers the question and I I couldn’t agree more because I

think sometimes when you understand what’s happening in a room um and then somebody’s feeling overwhelmed or

stressed it could actually change uh your outlook on how to approach things throughout the day so I do totally agree

with that I have one more I have one more Marie that I’m I’m sorry I just thought of it and I really want to give

this one because this is sometimes one that people get hung up on and that’s around

um you know people who take up all the air in a meeting for example um and and so when you have people in

your meeting who don’t you’re the leader and you have people in your meeting who don’t speak up um or you have the same group of people

who you know speak first um that is perhaps uh a person on your

team who is not displaying their assertiveness and so um one of the

things that you could help them do is if you provide an agenda in advance of your meeting some people don’t process

information the same way they need to think about it right they’re not really great on the Fly they don’t like like

ideate while they’re speaking out loud like I do I can you know be talking and

thinking at the same time some people need more time to actually put their thoughts together before they actually

speak and so if you’re the leader and if you can create opportunity where everybody’s voice gets heard at the

table and you encourage it by taking somebody’s comment but then

stopping pausing and asking other people if they have contribution and waiting

to see if they do that is a great way to help people use their own voice

that’s a great comment thank you Angela