think we will get started then so I want to say hello and welcome to everyone welcome everyone to hrc’s webinar on
emotional intelligence leadership success and employee retention today’s
session will allow you to learn what and why emotional intelligence is important in leadership and professional success
for anyone that doesn’t know who I am I’m Marie mold and I’m the senior manager of stakeholder engagement here
at ehrc so just before we begin I’d like to acknowledge that the national office
of electricity Human Resources Canada is located within the traditional unseated
unsurrendered territory of the Algonquin anishinabe people ehrc honors the
peoples and the land at the Algonquin initiative nation and offers Nations Inuit and metis peoples and their
valuable past present and future contributions to this land so just
before we get started a couple of housekeeping notes this webinar is being recorded today and will Avail be
available on the ehrc.ca website as well as our YouTube channel
you can use the chat feature today to ask questions of our guest speaker and we highly encourage it
so now it gives me great pleasure to introduce Angela Payne who’s the co-founder of lead HR and the national
president of lean in Canada having spent her whole career in the human capital industry Angela’s interests and passion
starts with people everyone who knows her recognizes her ability to make authentic and long-lasting connections
this superpower has enabled Angela to not only Build and Grow successful teams
but also become a strategic coach for many other leaders inside and outside of her organization
Angela is a certified emotional intelligence practitioner and a certified coach she leverages these
every day within our current role as co-founder of lead HR and Leadership leadership development firm focused on
helping organizations measure train and improve the level of EQ in their leaders
at all levels so I am going to now send it over to Angela welcome Angela and over to you
thanks for attending and participating with us uh and I just want to do a quick
check now that we just screened share changed that you can see my screen there uh so um Ray that’s good yes all good
awesome so welcome to the session today uh we’re online for uh approximately 45
minutes and I’m happy to engage with the group here
um one of the the sessions that we’re working on today is uh emotional intelligence and Leadership success
um as Marie said I’m Angela Payne in the day-to-day work that we do at lead HR we
help organizations measure through assessments um understand and improve the level of
emotional intelligence in their leaders at all levels our talk today my talk today is entitled emotional intelligence
and Leadership success looking at how leaders um can use emotional intelligence not
only only just in their own success but also to attract and retain Talent as
it’s a key component of that and what we want to do is share information on helping you understand how emotional
intelligence really empowers influential and inspirational behaviors in
leadership so we’re going to look specifically at what emotional intelligence is why it’s important what
are some of the key leadership competencies attached to our emotions and lastly we want to give you some
practical tips to help you take away and walk away on how to increase and you
know manage and increase your own emotional intelligence those of you are teams or your leaders and be able to
share two ways to be able to do that so that’s our agenda for our time and I’m happy to
um you know take questions so if there’s something that you really want to ask please don’t hesitate to drop it in the
chat there’s a couple areas that I’m hoping you’ll engage with me coming up early in in the time and please add that
to the chat as as we go so all right so a quick comment about Charles and I
Charles is my partner we uh are long time colleagues uh as the founders of of
lead HR one of the things that we’ve spent our almost our whole career in is in the human capital space and really we
came to emotional intelligence um you know inspired by our own personal journey of emotional intelligence
and so uh we are Master Certified trainers as as Marie indicated and we
spent a lot of time in multiple different uh forums that look at emotional intelligence and support
um not only uh leaders but women also and and through my work at lean in so
what we want to do is to help us understand uh emotional intelligence I wanted to take all of you into a time
machine and bring you back to the year 1998. and as we know there’s lots of great
things that happened in 1998 1998 was the year of the Nagano Winter Olympics
it was also the year that uh the movie Titanic essentially like ruled the world
but 1990 9 also a really important year for me as in 1998 it’s the year that I got married
and this is me in 1998. and at the time there were lots of things that I knew
about myself one I knew that I was done living under my parents roof uh I was free to be me
um I knew that I had skills uh I had worked hard to complete my degree I had
had multiple jobs through University and I had done some part-time work and you
know worked during the summer to gain experience and I knew that I was more
determined than most people and I wanted to be really successful in my career
and there were lots of things that I didn’t know I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to
do uh what industry I wanted to work in clearly from this picture you can see I
had no fashion sense because who wears a daisy wedding dress and red lipstick but
hey it was the 90s don’t hold it against me um and most importantly I knew to
achieve the work success that I was looking for I didn’t really know what skills or competencies I would need yet
in order to be able to achieve this luckily for me in 1998 someone wrote a
book on that very specific topic uh you may know a gentleman called Daniel Goldman he wrote his second book on
emotional intelligence and the book was entitled working with emotional intelligence it specifically looked at
the skills and the behaviors that could make people and leaders successful in
their careers So Daniel Goldman spent time you know presenting research and evidence that would start changing the
way we view uh what’s needed to achieve leadership success
so what are the behaviors of successful leaders and for us a good way to think about this is to think about our own
experience of being led by great leaders so I’m hoping you’ll uh indulge me and
work with this uh work with me on this essentially what I want you to do for a minute is to think about uh your best
leader it doesn’t have to be your current leader could be leader from your past it could be a coach doesn’t have to
be uh you know in your workplace but think about your best leader and write
down for me uh the positive characteristics that you appreciated about this leader
so I’m going to give you a couple seconds to write down some of those characteristics things that you appreciated about this ideal leader that
you had in your mind what characteristics did they hold for you
all right hopefully you’ve got a few of those and what I’m hoping you could do is drop
one or two of those characteristics in the chat for me um you know write them down just type
them in for me a couple of those things a long stream of them I’m watching the chat I’ll see them uh they were
inclusive they were a Storyteller uh you know they were kind uh empathetic
um absolutely great anything else
ah they were trustful so they had your trust they cared about uh what you did
uh absolutely good listener great all very uh great characteristics
thank you uh for sharing um uh thank you driana uh Georgiana said
motivating and so it’s interesting to me uh those characteristics uh because this
is what we often see from uh the work that we do with with leaders
um essentially you know we hear they were supportive they listened they communicated well they were you know
trustworthy they understood me and and this list is a a very good
representation of what you said and what we generally see like 99 of the time and
what’s interesting to see here is that most of the answers talk about the reference of abilities to uh for the
leader to to have these types of skills which leads them to be influential influential in their teams what we
almost never hear anybody talk about is you know their expertise their technical
skills of the job um nobody ever says oh geez well they were the best Excel uh spreadsheet maker
ever um and now you know I want to clarify and say don’t get me wrong we’re not
suggesting that technical skills and expertise and knowledge are not important they are but they are the
entry ticket to leadership as a job itself what happens thereafter
what makes you influential is how you interact is how those leaders interact
with other people so you may say to me well Angela what does this have to do with emotional intelligence and we say quite a lot
actually and so if you’re new to the concept of EQ it’s worth just defining this just to make sure that we’re all on
the same page so emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize and
understand emotions both in yourself and in other people and it’s this ability to
use this awareness to manage your behavior and your relationships
the beauty of being a human being is that we go through tons dozens of
emotions every day and our emotions influence how we interact with ourselves and with other
people constantly in every aspect of our life and if we don’t learn how to
understand those emotions and manage them they can control us and derail our
Behavior with other people so what we want to think about is this
visual representation of emotional intelligence because emotional intelligence at work looks like this
and this is what it tells us it’s that how you feel
at the top of the uh at the top of the um illustration will impact how you
behave your behaviors will impact your results
your results impact how you think about yourself and other people which in turn
impacts how you feel so a good way to think about this is to think about when you’re feeling stressed
out you know how does feeling stressed affect your behavior
well for some people they disappear when they’re feeling stressed right other
people lash out and they become even an over aggressive version of themselves but either way in both into these
instances it impacts your ability to reach the results that you want which is true in leadership because how
you feel will impact the behaviors necessary for you to be able to attract
retain great people on your teams so I want to show you uh the model of of
emotional intelligence and this is the model we use at lead HR it’s from multi-health systems which is a Canadian
company um and it’s predicated on the barn Reuben uh model of EQ which was adapted
by Daniel Goldman it is these 15 competencies arranged in five Composites
that at the top you’ll see start with self-perception they essentially go through
self-perception and the three competencies under there like self-awareness and your self-confidence
it moves to self-expression and this is about your ability to express yourself
to be assertive and independent it then moves to thinking about how you
interact with people right so your ability to be empathetic your relationships even your social
responsibility it then says well hopefully if you have good relationships if you have a good
self-regard you have an ability to express yourself you have good relationships hopefully that’ll drive
you to make good decisions and so inside the decision-making composite these are things like your problem solving ability
impulse control uh reality testing and then ultimately if you’re good at making
decisions hopefully that helps you manage your stress so helps you be optimistic helps you manage your stress
tolerance and be flexible and so a leader with a healthy level of emotional intelligence will also help
sustain their employees especially if you focus on a leader around a leader
around particular skills like relationships empathy and even optimism
because those are ones that I mean ultimately they’re all interconnected the 15 of them all are interconnected
but if you think about those particular three um you know you start with your ability
to be self-aware and who who you are and how you actually feel you know
leaders who have great relationships who are able to be empathetic and who can set a pace a vision and be optimistic
and lead the team and drive the team towards our leaders that people want to work and stay with
um and so this is all encompassed or housed around the gray area which you
know predicates years of research that shows that this also impacts people’s
overwhile overall well-being um which is uh you know topic we spend a lot of time talking to our clients about
and ultimately their emotional and social uh functioning and work performance
so there really isn’t a starting point on the wheel um you can start anywhere with your leaders
um or with yourself if you’re working on emotional intelligence however know that they’re all
interconnected so that’s one of the reasons why we love it because one area of working on your emotional
intelligence will literally float uh many boats um if you can imagine thinking about working on your uh uh you
know assertiveness and speaking up when you need to and speaking your truth this will potentially raise your
self-confidence which hopefully then will increase your ability to make good decisions which then hopefully could
impact your stress tolerance so you see how they’re um you know they’re very interconnected
so um what we see is Decades of research to support the emotional intelligence and
Leadership and I’m sure you’ve seen lots of this and what uh you know Daniel Goldman the reach the researcher who
popularized emotional intelligence tells us in his book is that you know he came
to understand that IQ and technical skills are as I said this ticket to leadership but that if we only use these
skills who are very likely to be bad bosses in fact our EQ including the
skills of how we manage our emotions and relationships are two times more important than our technical abilities
and so the higher up we go in the in our work life and you know the corporate
ladder the more important EQ becomes because our role is more and more about managing relationships and not
necessarily doing technical work and a leader with a healthy level of emotional intelligence
um you know really helps the organization or reach their goals because as you uh we we talked about in
that little exercise we did these are the people these types of skills characteristics are the things that
people remember about somebody and want to work for in in that regard so when
you can develop those skills and start to hone those skills for yourself and for leaders you you automatically lift
your odds of uh you know people putting uh exponential effort or discretionary
effort uh to the work that you do in your organization a study like this one
uh is a metadata analysis it looks at four 40 different kinds of studies it had over 65 000 participants uh that
found that EQ was more than twice as important for leadership success and that this all of this helps us
understand that the EQ is not a passing bad and that in the corporate World it really drives results and we talk to
CEOs about this all the time and it’s critical in driving retention uh for uh
for organizations what I also want to show you is the key
behaviors that these 15 competencies use so my thought is and certainly you’re more than welcome I can send this to you
afterwards or you know you’re welcome to take a screenshot of it but this is an in-depth view of the 15 competencies and
what they measure in the assessment so when you think about using this while helping a leader develop you can this
can provide you a ton of insights on directing a leadership skills Improvement conversation so that if you
know what the competency or what the the composite measures then you can measure
your leaders against these kinds of things so as an example self-awareness do you understand your emotions and how
they impact other people this is often the foundation of leadership styles
um you know if you think about the small subset of skills needed for uh successful leaders you know their
ability to be empathy improves the impact of their messaging right they use their message or they deliver a message
in a more meaningful way for the listener their ability to handle pressure improves business outcomes
because they can step back they can take a moment they can engage and collaborate
with people in their teams which then Fosters trust and safety and belonging which then helps them to you know be uh
good uh you know good business or drive good business outcomes they’re tact uh improves trust their
adaptability so their flexibility can improve uh you know absolutely the input
they get from their teams and their collaboration their ability to influence other people can really drive capacity and
capabilities within the business for their teams to even step up and their ability to keep their egos in check can
demonstrate what good behavior in the organization looks like so uh you know these are great uh ways
to think about the competencies in a way that is uh useful for you to think about
how your leaders are performing in in the 15 competencies besides just the assessment uh besides just the
assessment itself so what we wanted to also do for you was
um you know there’s tons of theory around emotional intelligence you can see you know lots of Articles and uh you
know things around emotional intelligence but one of the things we committed to uh in even building this
with Marie and her team was you know how can we give you practical tools or practical application that you can use
in your day-to-day whether you’re thinking about you know attracting whether you’re thinking about how to
retain uh Talent how you want your leaders to behave in order to be able to engage and be influential in their teams
so we wanted to do this in two ways for you one was to provide you with
interview questions um that will help you gauge uh emotional intelligence it’s one component of your
you know your full process and your full onboarding process but it’s a good way to ask
um that will help you think about if the candidate or the person that you’re even
doing for succession planning or promotion inside your organization has some of these skills and a way to be
able to measure them so um this is like you know when have you
felt demotivated and what did you do to overcome this this is tied directly to self-actualization
um and directly to people’s optimism you know how do they Define that for you how do they think about that and articulate
that to you you know what is something that you’ve achieved that you’re most proud of this is tied again directly to
people’s self-regard their ability to be confident in where they are um to be able to explain that uh to to
you um you know how do you celebrate success lots of people are very successful but
they don’t take the time to celebrate success why is that is that tied to the way they feel about themselves and are
they aware enough to be able to celebrate success can they do that for themselves and for their teams
um you know have you uh how do you recover from failure one of the questions further down the list
um this is a directly impacts the way people think about their flexibility
their optimism um their impulse control because they
um you know how they answer these types of questions give you insight into those competencies those skills that skill set
um you know what kind of behavior at work makes you annoyed uh it’s an interesting it’s an interesting question
uh to also deal about think about people’s Independence and their assertiveness how can they actually uh
Express that how do they actually know what makes them annoyed are they self-aware enough to be able to
articulate that and know what that feeling is so that they can actually manage that and then work through that
when they’re working with teams um you know how do you distress after a bad day of work
um this is an interesting one around people’s uh you know around people’s
um you know um self-awareness uh around their ability to problem solve manage their
stress because if they can’t do these things they don’t have mechanisms to do
that again gives you some insight into uh you know how they think about themselves how they think about their
work and how they think ultimately about how they’re going to show up inside their teams
um the other one that uh I wanted to show you and I’m happy to answer uh questions on this uh after as well the
other one I wanted to show you is around uh four practical tips that if you’re
going to use to increase your own emotional intelligence or you want to use them to increase your team’s emotional intelligence or your leaders
emotional intelligence um you know I wanted to shed some light with some reflection questions for you
and some things that you could think about um and that you could Implement right away and I’m happy to give these to you
after um Mariam uh we talked a little bit about a a little
um take away um and if you see my screen that’s that’s this uh concept of these four
places and I’ll I’ll um of these four tips and I’m happy to share those uh with the group after so I can I can give
those um away at the end so um take time to check in with yourself this is the competency of self-awareness
the key Insight here is that taking time to understand how you feel gives you
more control over changing your emotions and your behaviors to something that’s
more productive for you so you know we say at least HR all the time you can’t manage what you don’t recognize and
that’s absolutely true about self-awareness if you don’t recognize how um you feel or how you work through
those what’s the tingly Sensation that happens to you what’s the way that manifests for you you have no shot of
being able to change it in the moment so so reflection questions that you can
use on self-awareness is think of a time where you were making a decision when
your emotions got the best of you what were you experiencing at that time
and what was your reaction to that we all have triggers being able to
understand what those triggers are help you to show up as the best version of yourself
what emotions make you a more effective leader do you know what those are can you deploy those more often
and what emotions do you think help you influence and Inspire your team
so when you think about those those are great reflection questions even if you want to use them for yourself or you
want to use them for your leaders to really be able to think about how are
they impacting their teams so a practical tip for you is uh you know set your smartphone alarm and let
make it ring twice a day when it rings basically take one minute to identify how you feel right in that moment I
don’t know if this ever happens to you but uh I can sometimes find myself with like not even knowing I I will check
myself put my feet on the floor and realize that my shoulders are like up here and that’s because I’m feeling all
of this in myself and I just literally need to like drop that back down again but I don’t know that unless I check in
with myself and I recognize when I’m feeling that way and just a very small movement or standing up helps me get
repositioned for you know my next conversation my next call my next um you know difficult conversation or
feedback session with somebody in my team the second one uh is around uh show care
for others and this is the competency of empathy um the key Insight here is that empathy
is the ability to recognize understand and appreciate the way other people feel it is a critical component in building
strong relationships and as a leader your ability to manage those relationships uh is really your medium
your delivery mechanism for taking your teams to even bigger you know Heights
bigger uh outcomes than you could have even imagined um and so the reflection question for
empathy is for you to think of a situation where you weren’t maybe as sensitive to someone’s feelings as you
should have been lots of times we recognize that after the fact after we walk away from a conversation
so why do you think that was the case and what could you have done differently if you don’t
answer or push yourself to think about what you could do differently than you
know how do you get to a different uh a different outcome or a different you know uh practice
so the Practical tip is that empathy really starts by noticing how other people may feel so next time you meet
somebody take a mindful moment to notice their facial expressions
um you know what emotion do you think they might be expressing can you actually
name it can you articulate that do you think you actually could recognize what that is in the day-to-day very busy work
that we have it’s sometimes much easier said than done we are worried about our
agenda our thing what we want to get done what message we want to deliver but the person that’s standing in front of
you how do you keep them whole so that’s uh that’s that’s uh that’s the
second one the third one um is about reducing your stress and there’s tons of content around this but
I want to just talk to you specifically about the EQ competency of this and
what’s the reflection of that but that is about stress tolerance for sure but Stress Management is like a
superpower and emotional intelligence it really is because being able to lower your stress increases your capabilities
in all other aspects of emotional intelligence so the reflection question for you is
what skills or techniques or activities do you use to manage your day-to-day
stress do you have some do you know what they are do you do them intentionally and purposefully and most people tell us
yes but link that to how it’s um how you show up because how do you
think your team has been affected by your ability to either handle or not handle stress
and so when we ask leaders that question it’s like hmm I maybe think I do a good
job of masking that maybe maybe not
um and what is the and what is the trigger that that creates in your team to not come to you to come to you more
often um to not escalate to escalate to not tell you when something’s not going
right in the business because they’re worried about your reaction to that what does that look like so the Practical tip
of that is you know as I said there’s tons of work on that yoga meditation breathing exercises the four box uh you
know physical activity pick one strategy and test that out even for a couple of weeks and see if that has an impact for
the way you show up or the way you feel and then the fourth one is practicing
the glass glass half bowl and this is the EQ competency of optimism
um and this is the ability to remain positive despite setbacks it’s really a
crucial differentiator between successful leaders and other people in the workplace um this skill this competency optimism
combined with the one of the other competencies in emotional intelligence which is reality testing is this ability
to um you know have a positive outlook and
I’m not talking Pollyanna like you know sunshine and rainbows all the time that’s not what I mean I mean the fact
that you know would you describe yourself as somebody who can work
through understand that there are setbacks there are things that will happen in your business in your life in
your work in your role as a leader but that knowing that if you look at it get
feedback use your relationships collaborate whatever that is that you can
um essentially uh you know essentially get yourself to a a good outcome a good
outlook and so the reflection questions we use is would you describe yourself self as having a positive or negative
expectations about how things will turn out I often coach people who say no no I
start with the worst case scenario every time and it’s like okay
um and that may work for you um how does that impact the people around you would they consider you to be
an optimistic person or are you as the leader the person that always says no no no that won’t work or but but that’s a
problem but this is that oh we tried that last time and leaders often don’t recognize when they’re doing those
things and those literally disengage employees and so
your language matters in that particular uh you know uh scenario and so how do
you keep your teams motivated in the face of obstacles what are the things that you use that
you think about and do you know what they are and can you deploy them when you need them so a practical tip for you is you know
before starting a project write down everything that comes to mind uh you know relating to how your project will
be successful um and then write down everything you need to do in order for that project to
go well it’s almost like a manifestation of that working out for you what are all
those things that you need um in order to make that successful and then you know hang on to that because
that will get you in the mind frame of working towards what that would look like um it’s true about problem solving and
it’s also true about optimism okay so that is a
few main areas that we really wanted to give you access to and to talk to you a
little about about it is a condensed speed round version of
emotional intelligence uh Marie it is uh exactly 1205. uh I will stop sharing uh
my screen so that uh we could talk a little bit about um you know if people have any questions
or if there’s anything they’re specifically interested in or interested in talking about I’m happy to do that
for the next few minutes before we turn it back over to you
all right sorry sorry sorry Angela I was
I was uh trying to uh figure out my audio here and for some
reason no worries my screen escaped me so um as I mentioned before perhaps we could encourage people to put some
questions and we do have a couple of questions actually yes so I’ll just start off with
um the first question actually is do you have any uh examples of leaders who practice EI and
do it well yeah I
I eaters uh we leaders doing this often right we catch leaders doing
good work often um if you could um there’s a great
um I’m sorry I’m just looking at my book here um I’m just uh going to my bookcase there’s a great uh
work from the CEO of Kronos um and the book is called work inspired
um Aaron Ain is the um is is the CEO was the CEO of of the
organization Chronos if you know them k-r-o-n-o-n-o-s um they are uh his book is about how to
build an organization where people love to work um and he has some really great
um you know examples of what he might not deem as emotional intelligence but
are certainly characteristics of emotional intelligence um and those include things like his
real his ability to hold good relationships his ability to be empathetic
um which and and his ability if you read the book to to Really Show how he
created a vision for the organization and Let It Forward which is really tied to his self-actualization and his
optimism so that’s a that’s a really great one great I’ll uh I’ve written that down so
I’m I’m anxious to see if I can find that yes the next question is do you have any resources for developing EQ for
sure um and there are lots of um you know different uh models for
emotional intelligence the one we showed you is one model that’s uh multi-health systems that’s the model we use at uh
lead HR um but there are you know if you know EQ smart or you know uh uh Daniel Goldman’s
work they have different kind of versions of of EQ um but there are like some really great
books um that are written by Dr Stein um Dr Steven Stein
um which uh one of them is called the EQ Edge uh it’s emotional intelligence and your
uh success so it’s a couple of versions um David Stein actually has two or three
books any of his work is great um there are also if you have
um if you have a um [Music] subscription sorry to Harvard Business
review or hbr um or have access to some of hbr stuff they have some really great work on
emotional intelligence uh as well um as I promised I will send you this uh
piece which has the reflection questions and the um insights for each of the four that I
showed you um so you’re welcome to have that
um and then if you follow some some uh leaders who do work on emotional intelligence they often share
um you know tips workshops things that would be great for you to be able to use lead HR does that so if you’re on
LinkedIn feel free to um you know feel free to follow us we do things like the interview questions we
do things like how to increase uh you know how to increase team building and communication by using gratitude
exercises so there’s lots of different places that you could find some of that hopefully that’s helpful
thank you oh it definitely is um and I just wanted to make a comment before we get to our next question because I
remember uh as you said I we had a leader um and and because he I believe
practiced EQ um very well he had such an impact uh
it’s somebody that I I remembered for years um and it’ll be somebody that I’ll
always remember for the rest of my life actually yeah so we have one other
question is there any EI test or assessment that can be done to reflect the areas of improvement yes absolutely
so um there are a couple um there are a couple free resources
online if you sort of uh do like EQ assessment they’re very small kind of you know just high level conversations
about uh emotional intelligence um that’s one way if you’re you know you’re you know really strapped and
you’re just looking for a free resource um the MHS model that I showed you
multi-health systems model is actually uh is actually an assessment it’s 133
questions online which then gives you a score and rating and a practical
development plan for your leader in that assessment so it’s a 27-page report that
comes out uh in that and so we that’s that’s the work we do so when we do emotional intelligence work we assess
the leader and then we work on those competencies um there is again as I talked to you
about EQ smart and Daniel Goldman’s work they also have assessments so there are
quite a few assessments ranging from free to uh you know uh a few hundred
bucks um and so there’s a couple that uh that you could utilize and uh if you’re
interested in the ones that the one that we have we have with MHS happy to chat with you about it some more and you can
actually even go to leadhr.com and see uh how we use the assessment
okay uh there is one other one here uh it says would be interested in how you
gently influence EQ awareness live while in group meetings that’s a great one it
is absolutely a great one uh uh because I often say like you can only implant
impact or influence your own behavior but there are setups or things that you could do to try and like uh yeah
influence or you know backdoor that or engineer to some extent so one of those
is um you know one of the ones that that we encourage teams to do which is if they
don’t start with uh you know once a quarter maybe a gratitude exercise like you know I appreciate X about Mary Jane
or you know Susie Smith um and those are great ways to create
um you know to impact your relationships and increase your relationships um you know there are absolutely
um empathy is one of the topics that often we have leaders there’s either struggle with being able to
articulate or exercise and what we try to get people to do is think about
empathy as Clarity so Clarity around expectations Clarity around making sure
that you’re communicating with um you know the individual in an appropriate way that is empathetic
Behavior as a leader because you are helping them to see how they can be the best version of themselves by giving
them Clarity around your expectation as their boss so that is a very good way
the other way is you could start by modeling the behavior of using your
emotional expression like uh instead of just feeling stressed or I’m like oh my
gosh I got this going explain why this makes you feel that way so I you know I
feel X and Y or I’m I’m feeling like this because of this
um and and that helps people to see that what’s the what’s the why behind what
you’re saying or what you’re doing which gives people an understanding that you’re transparent you’re being
authentic about where you are and what you feel and that is a great way to model
um authenticity uh building trust safety in your workplace belonging all those kinds of things hopefully that
answers the question and I I couldn’t agree more because I
think sometimes when you understand what’s happening in a room um and then somebody’s feeling overwhelmed or
stressed it could actually change uh your outlook on how to approach things throughout the day so I do totally agree
with that I have one more I have one more Marie that I’m I’m sorry I just thought of it and I really want to give
this one because this is sometimes one that people get hung up on and that’s around
um you know people who take up all the air in a meeting for example um and and so when you have people in
your meeting who don’t you’re the leader and you have people in your meeting who don’t speak up um or you have the same group of people
who you know speak first um that is perhaps uh a person on your
team who is not displaying their assertiveness and so um one of the
things that you could help them do is if you provide an agenda in advance of your meeting some people don’t process
information the same way they need to think about it right they’re not really great on the Fly they don’t like like
ideate while they’re speaking out loud like I do I can you know be talking and
thinking at the same time some people need more time to actually put their thoughts together before they actually
speak and so if you’re the leader and if you can create opportunity where everybody’s voice gets heard at the
table and you encourage it by taking somebody’s comment but then
stopping pausing and asking other people if they have contribution and waiting
to see if they do that is a great way to help people use their own voice
that’s a great comment thank you Angela